I live in a development that is mostly inhabited by retired Yankees. There are regularly scheduled Canasta nights, pot-lucks, movie nights and even Zumba Gold at our local clubhouse. I know you're jealous and wondering how I have time to write this blog when there is such fun to be had, but I digress. A few weeks ago on a Friday afternoon I decided to go to my neighborhood pool. I was laying in my chair when they descended. 5-6 older women in modest bathing suits with pool noodles. They were all talking, very friendly with each other and although the entire pool deck was available they set up shop right next to me. It was a little awkward so to break the tension, I introduced myself:
"Hi ladies, I feel like I should introduce myself. I've only lived here a year and I haven't met many people yet. My name is Tonyne."
It took them about 10 minutes to get my name and even though they were able to pronounce it once, they ended up calling me Tony anyway. I really hit it off with this one woman named Nancy, she sounded exactly like Big Ang from Mob Wives. Imagine Maxine, from the Hallmark cards, and then imagine she sounds like this:
And just like Big Ang she loved to talk. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with her though because she was hysterical. I think my favorite part was when she spoke about how the phone starts ringing every time there is an ambulance spotted in the neighborhood.
"We're old, this is what happens, we die. This is not news." she said
She also enjoyed introducing me to every other person that came to the pool that day, "Hey, come meet Tony, she bought the modular, you know the one on the corner, the nice one, that was foreclosed? She bought it." This is how homes are known in my neighborhood by the deal you got on them.
We began talking about movies and pharmaceuticals. The conversation seemed to ebb and flow from one topic to the next, the sun was getting to me at this point. I know at some point I offered to loan her my copy of The Hunger Games and since she lives a few houses down from me, I told her I would put it in her mailbox on my way to work in the morning. As I leave the pool area, I hear her talking to the others "What a nice girl, she's going to put it in my mailbox, it's done. It's nice to get some young ones into the fold."
The next morning I placed the DVD in her mailbox I wasn't quite sure if I my action signaled a pharmaceutical pick up or a possible hit on the grumpy old man 3 blocks away. Then when getting my into my car, I noticed Nancy give me a nod from her screened-in front porch, holding her coffee and wearing giant sunglasses, I knew it was my induction into the Old Lady Yankee Mafia in my neighborhood.
I can't wait until I get my pool noodle.